Friday, November 18, 2011

You don't lose if you say "I'm sorry"

Why do people think that asking for forgiveness a sign of weakness?

Is it because it shows that you regret something, that at one point you were "wrong"? 
And why does that fact bother people - Once upon a time I was wrong - How is that so impossible?

Do you know what's even crazier - saying I’m sorry in a relationship. Lets take the pain of saying sorry in general and amplify that suffering by 80% - That’s how hard it is to say I’m sorry in a relationship.

WAIT a minute, I’m being a bit too general, that statement is incorrect.  What I really mean is that’s how hard it is for a GIRL to say I’m sorry in a relationship.  There I've said my peace - go on, attack me.  I dare you!

No get ready for it because you're mind will now be officially blown.

Saying "I'm sorry" is the reason I am now so blissfully happy and light in my 10-year relationship, go figure.

Want to know the reason why? How bout 5?  All right, challenge accepted, here goes:
  1. You're no longer this selfish little bitch
    • Do you know why guys say "I'm Sorry" so insincerely? To shut you up. 
    • Why? Because you are a selfish little bitch and they figured out a trick to get you to stop making annoying sounds and start making out them.
    • When you say sorry you actually are showing that you care for this person you supposedly like, or even love more then you care about yourself - isn't that beautiful
  2. You're no longer fighting for yourself your fighting for each other
    • When you say, "I'm sorry" your not trying to win anymore, you're trying to fix.  Now tell me which option sounds better?
  3. You stop fighting
    • Goodness this one is too obvious it hurts. (But not if you say it in a  "well I'm sorry you feel that way" kind of way - that’s not really how it works)
  4. You move forward
    • You know that lovely thing we girls do when we fight with a boy and we bring up that thing they did after work one day at that restaurant 5 months ago. Do you know why we did it - because we didn't forgive him the first time he said sorry - why? see point 1.
    • Forgiveness is two sided; once you know how to apologize you know how to forgive.
  5. You become equals
    • Is that what you want? To be equal in a relationship? Now riddle me this, is that possible if one person is "always right."

For me the moral of the story is - if you admit you're wrong once, you have the ability to do right from that moment on.

Don't get me wrong, it took me a LOOONG time to realize this - there was actually a moment in my dating life when I said "wait a minute, I'm not perfect, " and that’s when I started to grow.  The ability to say sorry may not happen today but its good to know that it’s possible.

Please take this advice in heed, you SHOULD NOT be apologizing for how you dress, how you talk, who your friends are, where you work, or how you live.  These are things that make you who you are, you NEVER apologize for that.  You should ONLY be apologizing if you sincerely hurt someone (even if you didn't know it at the time), and ONLY if it’s sincere (the second part is the hardest) 

In contrary to the intro, saying I’m sorry is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Peace out my lovelies

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The problem I have with haters .....


I was just thinking in my bed one night (i.e. tonight :) and I remembered this quote from Maya Angelou -
"The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don’t know my story"

I love this quote because it goes both ways:

Stop Hatin on me
a)  I don't care if you judge me or hate me, love me or loathe me, you have no idea what I've been through to get where I am today - queue neck swivel and 3 finger snap "you don't know me" mm hmm

I Ain't Hatin on you
b) who am I to judge or hate on someone - people act and are who they are for many reasons (limited experience, defense mechanism, pressure, stress) maybe take a minute and stop thinking about yourself to find out :) (thats me giving me advice right there!)

Also to add to this - don't be jealous of someone - there's a reason that person is there, be it connection or hard work they took advantages of the opportunities they had - use it for inspiration and push forward!

Just thought it was a really cool quote to post.

Peace out

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I hate how much I love being a hypocrit :)

  • I have a cold cold heart when it comes to business but when it comes to friends its warm fuzzy and caring
  • I'm super smart when it comes to logic and math but am soo dumb when it comes to history and common knowledge :)
  • I HATE fake people, but catch myself smiling out of uncomfortablness (is that a word?)
  • I'm a sarcastic Bitch but I really want women to get along - Girl Power?
  • I want to be Happy & Content AND that possible?
  • I will not, under no circumstance, judge you when I meet you (I will not be THAT person) but when it comes to family I can't help but do it

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lessons from a beach


I just came back from vacation the other week and it was simply amazing because (Disclaimer this part looks like I'm bragging - but that isn't my intention, I hope....):
  1. I needed time away - even though I love the people I work with and like my job sometimes it weighs heavy on your heart
  2. I needed a week away from technology - do you know how refreshing that is?!  You get to connect with 'for real' humans
  3. Most Importantly, I took away lessons that I really want to apply to my real life (really? on vacation?! YES!)
Contrary to the title, the beach didn't speak up and teach me anything in particular (more I was trying to think of something creative and perhaps it's a slight fail :) but living my life near one made all the difference in the world.

Want to know what I learned? No? Too bad here it comes anyways - Thats what she said? lol

  • FOCUS - life is mixed with things and people pulling you in different directions BUT on the beach I made it a mission to finish my book - I was so god damn determined that poof - book finished! Making a decision to put your energy on one thing and cut out all the other white noise really helped me accomplish what I wanted
  • Plan your week - I wanted to make the most of every day from my vacation so we planned out our excursions our a la carts and our nights out days in advance...Why don't I do that when I'm back home? 
  • The day doesn't end at 5:00 pm - After a long and hard day tanning (or attempting to) on the beach we got back to the room and napped, got ready for dinner, had a great dinner with amazing conversation, walked around, watched a show and went dancing...EVERYDAY (the lesson here, TAKE advantage of the time you have - people say life is short because they cut it that way)
This last lesson I take away from every vacation but worth mentioning now as a simple reminder:
  • Live in the moment - Enjoy the time in the sun, enjoy your lunch, have fun with the company you have - live in the present, time is so precious why waste it?
I'm so happy (read: lucky) I got a chance to re-energize and relax. I hope I actually apply these takeaways to my real life - imagine that, live life like a vacation :)


    Tuesday, December 21, 2010

    Am I being too negative?


    I was hanging out at the gym today trying to sweat away my crummy mood (having a sort of meh day) and then a thought occurred to me - Am I being too negative!?

    There are certain values or I guess "missions" I have in life that I try to abide by:
    1. Always Smile!  a) because there is always a reason to and b) it makes you instantly happy
    2. Don't take things too personally or too seriously - it always great to have a sense of humor and to know that not everything (or more precisely nothing) is about you; and
    3. You have the most control of things when you realize - you cant control anything
    I'm very proud of those statements and I really do try my best to live them everyday.

    BUT this week (this day more specifically) I found myself saying:
    • ugh...I need a vacation I'm so bitter
    • GAWD i'm huge what the hell
    • I'm in such a bad mood god I'm tired
    And then I thought - those are probably the most self fulfilling prophesies out there.  I am in a bad mood because I say it outloud and if I say it outloud it HAS to be true - NOT COOL!

    I have no clue what got me here but it needs to end, I think typing out this post helps - also the fact that I'm taking a vacation from work soon will help (duh! :). BUT more importantly I think the self awareness helps.

    SO my mission for this week is to abide by my missions *fingers crossed*

    Peace out!

    Saturday, December 18, 2010

    So this is a blog...


    I don't really know what i'm doing here. So I guess I'll start from the beginning.

    I've been wanting to blog for a while, but there is a small part of me who really really likes to stay private (you know, my business is my business - step off :) BUT I think there are so many benefits from writing down your thoughts that the best solution for the time being was to start something somewhat anonymous.

    So what is this blog about? 

    Umm me for the most part. I guess you would characterize this as a lifestyle blog I want to write about things that inspire, are honest and make you think.

    Few topics come to mind:
    • Gossip
    • Friends
    • Relationships
    • Lessons learned
    • Leadership
    • Honesty
    • Travel
    • Quotes
    • Advice
    • Money
    • Health
    • Happiness
    • Fashion
    Ok maybe that was a bit more then a few, but I'm a thinker, so it helps to write these sort of things down.

    We'll see if I can keep this up -  I just started this on a whim on a boring Saturday morning but I look forward to writing

    Peace out my homies