Friday, November 18, 2011

You don't lose if you say "I'm sorry"

Why do people think that asking for forgiveness a sign of weakness?

Is it because it shows that you regret something, that at one point you were "wrong"? 
And why does that fact bother people - Once upon a time I was wrong - How is that so impossible?

Do you know what's even crazier - saying I’m sorry in a relationship. Lets take the pain of saying sorry in general and amplify that suffering by 80% - That’s how hard it is to say I’m sorry in a relationship.

WAIT a minute, I’m being a bit too general, that statement is incorrect.  What I really mean is that’s how hard it is for a GIRL to say I’m sorry in a relationship.  There I've said my peace - go on, attack me.  I dare you!

No get ready for it because you're mind will now be officially blown.

Saying "I'm sorry" is the reason I am now so blissfully happy and light in my 10-year relationship, go figure.

Want to know the reason why? How bout 5?  All right, challenge accepted, here goes:
  1. You're no longer this selfish little bitch
    • Do you know why guys say "I'm Sorry" so insincerely? To shut you up. 
    • Why? Because you are a selfish little bitch and they figured out a trick to get you to stop making annoying sounds and start making out them.
    • When you say sorry you actually are showing that you care for this person you supposedly like, or even love more then you care about yourself - isn't that beautiful
  2. You're no longer fighting for yourself your fighting for each other
    • When you say, "I'm sorry" your not trying to win anymore, you're trying to fix.  Now tell me which option sounds better?
  3. You stop fighting
    • Goodness this one is too obvious it hurts. (But not if you say it in a  "well I'm sorry you feel that way" kind of way - that’s not really how it works)
  4. You move forward
    • You know that lovely thing we girls do when we fight with a boy and we bring up that thing they did after work one day at that restaurant 5 months ago. Do you know why we did it - because we didn't forgive him the first time he said sorry - why? see point 1.
    • Forgiveness is two sided; once you know how to apologize you know how to forgive.
  5. You become equals
    • Is that what you want? To be equal in a relationship? Now riddle me this, is that possible if one person is "always right."

For me the moral of the story is - if you admit you're wrong once, you have the ability to do right from that moment on.

Don't get me wrong, it took me a LOOONG time to realize this - there was actually a moment in my dating life when I said "wait a minute, I'm not perfect, " and that’s when I started to grow.  The ability to say sorry may not happen today but its good to know that it’s possible.

Please take this advice in heed, you SHOULD NOT be apologizing for how you dress, how you talk, who your friends are, where you work, or how you live.  These are things that make you who you are, you NEVER apologize for that.  You should ONLY be apologizing if you sincerely hurt someone (even if you didn't know it at the time), and ONLY if it’s sincere (the second part is the hardest) 

In contrary to the intro, saying I’m sorry is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Peace out my lovelies

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